Without meaning to, we often fall victim to our routines, and justify mind-numbing after-hours activities that only waste time. Days, weeks, and even months can go by; perhaps you find yourself effectively living paycheck-to-paycheck, performing only for employers or a business, paying debts or bills, and killing the rest of the time.

Studies have proven many times over that it helps to stimulate the brain. It helps to use the mind in new ways, even if it’s not in a scientific slant. The brain is made up of many neurons and multiple different parts; it’s constantly creating new neural pathways and it’s capable of solving a variety of minute mysteries! Even simple arts and crafts or small-scale creations assist in keeping countless sections of your brain active.

Of course, different people prefer (or find themselves truly enjoying) different crafts. The important part is to incorporate projects into your daily life. They don’t even need to cost much — sometimes the most gratifying crafts or projects involve items that are already laying around! Maybe the only expenditure needs to be some paint or a few cheap tools.

This is just a friendly reminder to keep things interesting, create something weekly, and further develop your creative skills. By actively using your hands and brain to stretch even the simplest of your limits and solve dilemmas, you continue to train yourself to problem-solve in other areas of your life! Furthermore, just relaxing for a few hours and making magic that is useful or esthetically pleasing is a proven stress-relief!

Sometimes it takes trial and error to discover the perfect hobbies for you. However, even those experiments will have positive and long-term benefits for your mental health. 🙂

Yours in Calmness,
Reverend Michelle
Calmness.com

Reverend Michelle is a Wellness Scientist and healer with over 15 years’ experience.
Her unique healing solutions blend proven techniques with a strong scientific influence. This is cutting edge, because for the last five years Rev. Michelle has literally been fusing science with metaphysics!

As a reader of this blog, receive exclusive discounts on teleseminars and healing programs!!! Until Nov 3rd, simply email revmichelle[AT]calmness.com with the subject-line “Creativity’s Opportunities”.
Stay In Touch via FB for special deals, AND a biweekly dose of inspirational positivity ~ www.facebook.com/coastallilacs.

It’s no secret that beauty is in the eye of the beholder. And anyone can come off as attractive, regardless of their physical attributes.
Surprised?
Think about ten or twenty people that you find beautiful. I’m sure you’ll find that in more cases than not most of their physical features are average at best.

But maybe you’re not feeling it yet.
Plus, you’ve probably noticed that attractive people have so many advantages…

I bet you’re wondering right now: How can I start honing in on this world, and also enjoy the pleasures bestowed upon beautiful people?

Here are some of the secrets to increasing your individual attractiveness:

1) Smile very often.
Beautiful people love life and enjoy every single day. Know that when you are beaming with happiness, others sense it and feel uplifted as well. A bonus is that everyone looks attractive when genuinely smiling.
2) Take care of yourself.
Beautiful people keep up with themselves and keep up with their hygiene. Neglecting yourself is a sign of low self-esteem. It’s usually not much extra effort, and when you get into a daily routine it only gets easier. Taking care of yourself shows the world (and you) that you’ll be around as long as possible, and you hold yourself in high regard. No one’s perfect, own your beauty (or handsomeness)!!!
3) Take care of others.
Often, the most attractive people are very kind and share their wealth (whatever form it might be in). It’s almost a catch-22, because generous people’s good nature shines through to make them attractive, and being attractive is often a mirror of the beauty inside.
4) Be careful about what you say.
Beautiful people are often intelligent, and realize that mystery and beauty go together. Listen to what other people say respectfully, and avoid speaking more than necessary. Attractiveness and ugliness can sometimes be defined by the way people act and with the things they say, more than anything else!

Know that you are the maker of your own brand of attractiveness. There’s no reason to strive to copy someone else’s brand – you were already gifted all the aspects you need!

Every morning when you wake up and first look in the mirror, thank yourself for being so attractive! Thank yourself for all the opportunities in life, and for the fact that we really can create our reality!

This post was presented to you by Reverend Michelle.
I asked her to take over this newsletter, as I am sure you will agree that she’s done a great job bringing you awesome material!
Stay tuned for more.

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

Some studies have linked certain book-reading genres to levels of empathy, but I think that exposing yourself to any sort of story (regardless of medium) is enough to develop it. Being empathic is the key to humanity getting along; it’s the secret behind why some people develop compassion more easily than others.

The word “empathy” means being able to understand someone else’s emotions and share them. Empathy is the name of the feeling if you’ve ever felt extreme emotions when seeing someone else happy or sad. Empathy also explains feeling inexplicably moved by a situation or by something you saw.

An empathic person looks at the world differently, seeing it from a more sensitive standpoint. Some might view this as a weakness, but in reality it’s quite the contrary! Ultimately, everyone’s reality (both the big picture and the small picture for each individual) works off fluctuations in energy. Using your intuition to intelligently gauge situations, and also expanding your general development of sensitivity can help improve all circumstances in daily life.

Remember, you can be an individual and still be an empath! There is a huge difference between trying to mimic the status quo (or someone in particular), and walking a little distance in others’ shoes to gain perspective.

Of course, there are a lot of consequences to having an innate sense of empathy, which exists in about 20% of the population according to some studies. Whether it’s innate or developed, feeling empathy may have made challenging situations more difficult in the past, or perhaps it’s caused you to become a vessel for others’ negativity.
Has it ever happened to you that after an in-person or phone conversation with someone, or even a walk in the mall, you felt a headache or maybe felt so drained that you just needed to sleep? You simply never knew how to protect yourself. The good news is that you are not alone – many people experience these situations.
It’s not your fault! You just never knew how to release the emotions that others dumped on you. Protect your energy to make sure that it will never happen again.

It’s important to acknowledge that this happens so that you can start cleaning up your life by cleaning up your energy levels. When you feel negativity, put up a positive energy shield around yourself and then proceed to just radiate this positivity to others. The beneficial sides to being empathic far outweigh the bad, once you start protecting yourself and using/developing your sensitivity for your own benefit! Everyone that works on tuning into their own inner empath is using their sensitivity for the benefit of themselves and others!

Today we live in a divisive world and having ways to remain calm and composed are important. We’re constantly in social situations, so you always have opportunities. Hone your empathy to make our world and your personal world better and better every day!

Book your personal appointment now and learn how to better protect yourself! Often one or two sessions can be enough. Schedule yours today and select a one hour slot: http://www.meetme.so/dr_inessa.

Happy last day of summer!!!

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

It’s so easy to get into a rut because your work is monotonous, or when you feel over-qualified for your duties. And sometimes getting into a rut means lounging around in your comfort zone, which can be more harmful than you realize!

The best solution is aspiring to move up!!

Here is a list of five things that cost nothing, and will help you achieve any promotion!

1) Now that you know how to learn, use it!
Never rely only on the things you learned before! Knowing how to learn is a great habit to have and skill to cultivate! Find any way you can to expose yourself to new information that will help you improve. Subscribe to different news sources and use free educational materials. You might not get official ‘credit’ for the classes you take, but the knowledge will get you much further than more certificates.

2) Bring diversity to your own portfolio!
Don’t wait for someone else to discover you. Instead, go outside and put yourself in situations where you might be discovered! Branch out and get creative, because life is always handing us golden opportunities.

3) When you take on a project, always follow through!
It’s important to build a reputation that you’re reliable. This means showing up and being on time. It also means finishing projects that you commit to, and completing them efficiently.

4) Be yourself more.
Don’t be average, in a sea of averages! Show that you go above and beyond, and that your solutions are well-thought-out. Become useful in more ways, and maybe even take on assignments that are better suited to your other talents.

5) Become more active about “doing”.
Instead of passively waiting for opportunities, seek them out! Expand your network to other areas where people are likely to align with what you’re going for. In addition to reading up on different things, go out and put them into practice! Take calculated chances and be confident in your impending success!

You’ll be moving on up in no time, and progressing way out of any rut that might’ve snagged you before.

Give yourself credit and know that you deserve this promotion!

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

Confidence is one of those things that people often think they grasp, but sometimes it’s just a façade. It all comes down to mindset, and the way you tackle your everyday situations.
One mark of true confidence is that it remains, regardless of whether someone else built it up or tore it down. When you’re a confident person, you make the world go ‘round by both inspiring others, and always contributing to your own growth.

Confidence comes in many shapes and types, but here are a few things that differentiate the real from the pretend.

1. Source of happiness.
As a confident person, you are your own source of happiness, and you get it from within. You recognize that by giving yourself the reigns, you can persevere even when the odds seem stacked against you. You’re not swayed by others’ opinions, because you’re motivated by the knowledge of your awesome (and ongoing) accomplishments!

2. Listening vs. speaking.
As a confident person you listen more than you speak, because you don’t feel you have to prove yourself to anyone. You care more about the interaction itself, and keep an open mind. You recognize that you stand to maybe learn something, or find new ways to appreciate the person speaking.

3. Judgment’s limitations.
As a confident person, you respect others and pay attention to them, and you also avoid passing judgment on them. You recognize that everyone’s path is different and we’re all striving to better ourselves. You’re not stuck within the limits of your judgments, and you enjoy celebrating others!

4. Tone of voice.
As a confident person, your assertive tone of voice gives you away. You find people listening to your ideas more, since you speak with certainty and what you say is well-thought-out.

5. On being wrong.
As a confident person, you know your worth. You also know that sometimes you’ll be wrong, and that’s more than OK. You recognize life is a learning process: sometimes you teach others, and sometimes others teach you. You’re graceful about it, and you know it’s not a personal slight.

6. Taking risks and winning.
As a confident person, you know that you need to give yourself built-in incentives to succeed. When opportunities present themselves, you jump in and trust yourself even when you don’t yet know it all. And most of the time, it works out excellently. Your small (and large) victories are scientifically proven to give fuel to your fire, as they develop the reward and motivation areas of the brain.

You confidently recognize that you’re doing so well on this journey, and only getting better everyday!

Group and one-on-one sessions to boost your confidence are available! Contact me to schedule yours online: Meetme.so/dr_inessa .

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

We all know that physical activity is important for anyone seeking to maintain health and meet their weight goals. Over the last few decades, scientific research, brainstorming, and trial-and-error have created some of the most efficient methods out there.

A shining example of the best methods being put to excellent use is Dawn Scott, the fitness and performance coach for the U.S. Women’s National Soccer Team. In a recent interview, she shared some of the secrets that have propelled countless athletes!

And what are Ms. Scott’s suggestions for women, specifically?
“Knees are a big concern, especially A.C.L. tears. Coaches and trainers of girls’ teams should make sure that the players warm up well and that they strengthen their legs, focusing on the muscles around the knees. Quad strength is important for women.”
Most would agree, though, that after allocating for differences in muscle, men and women use almost identical approaches to gain strength and endurance.

To gauge how you’re doing, listen to your body and see how you feel after workouts. Some people have access to state-of-the-art technology, but everyone else can still monitor progress with simple tools!
The most effective measure of reaching your goals is with photographs: one from before, one during, and one after. Encouragement is important, and you should get it from as many sources as possible! You need to be able to SEE the progress.

A main point for Ms. Scott is the recovery at the end of every workout… “If you don’t recover,” she said, “you start the next session tired and that sets you up for poor performance or injury.”
There are so many ways that you can recover and further prepare yourself for the next burst of activity.

Scott said she is “…of the mindset that athletes should try different methods and find what works for them. Even if a method only makes you feel better mentally, then it is worth using, since we often forget about relaxation of the recovery process.”

So, how exactly do you recover like one of the stars on Dawn Scott’s soccer team?

1. Cool down.
At the end, slowly and gently move around for 5 – 10 minutes to healthily bring your heart-rate to resting levels and prevent blood from pooling. It also helps to do light stretching.

2. Get a foam roller.
“Use the rollers as soon as you can after training and games,” said Ms. Scott. “But don’t push too hard on sore muscles or you can increase achiness. Let your muscles tell you what they can stand.”

3. Cool down even more!!!
If possible soon after the workout, Ms. Scott advises for you to “Fill your bathtub with cold water and add a couple of bags of ice. Sit in the tub for 10 minutes straight, and then shower normally.”

4. Squeeze.
Pull on compression shorts or socks for a few hours, and sleep in them for maximum benefit.

5. Sleep in Better Conditions.
Recent scientific data has shown that having electronics and other lights on while asleep takes away from sleep quality. Maximize your rest and turn them off! Also, get the right number of hours, and reduce ambient noise.

Following a consistent exercise schedule can be hard, but by learning how to better care for your body, you’ve already done the first few steps!!!
And now you know how to take full advantage of all your workouts. 🙂
Make sure you give yourself credit. You’re doing the best you can, and improving every day!

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa

Mindfulness has one meaning: being present in the moment and in the Now. The oldest method available today is Vipassana, but any meditation technique achieves similar results, as long as you are clearing your mind and learning to be more present in the now.

These days we’re busier than ever, with smaller and smaller windows of time for leisure…. It seems as if it gets more difficult to find time to relax.

I’ve discovered that two 20-minute bouts of meditation a day bring me a wonderful sense of ease and help me focus better in all aspects. Within the past several months, I’ve made a point daily to take a little time for myself. I try to set my alarm twenty minutes early, sit comfortably in a quiet spot, close my eyes, and focus on deep breathing.

When this is accompanied by some pleasant instrumental music and a little determination, I find my mind and heart rate slowing, my breathing getting deeper, and my sense of well-being going through the roof! By the time I’m done, I’ve achieved a clarity that helps me through the day!

While I still have obligations, they no longer seem overwhelming or numerous. In fact, I’m eager to engage the world, and even the most mundane errand takes on a new tone! While I’m better able to focus on one thing at a time, I also have that feeling that anything is possible!!!

When you take into consideration that a better mindset leads to inner peace AND a greater level of productivity, it’s obviously a win-win.

When counting my breaths, I work on engaging my diaphragm and allowing my stomach to expand. So often we’re told that slim, flat stomachs are attractive and we subconsciously keep our stomach muscles tensed to emulate that look. After a few minutes of deep-bellied breathing, I feel a noticeable calmness in places I didn’t even know had tension!

The best part about this exercise is that it’s very easy!
It’s made up of only two things: quiet surroundings where you won’t be disturbed and deep breathing.
For beginners, repetition of just those two things is enough to enact a change in mindset!
Some choose to punctuate their breaths with a simple mantra: one word or phrase that has a deep meaning. Other than that, nothing is required.
While the mind occasionally wanders, very consciously breathing-in, exhaling, and making sure each breath is slow and deep is enough to keep you on-track.
I notice the subtle effects of this practice throughout the day! My feathers don’t get ruffled as easily anymore. I don’t have the need for a quick sense of relief, so I’m less likely to grab that extra coffee, glass of wine, or piece of cake. I feel calmer and more in-control.
In fact, I’ve often seen people’s diet habits change noticeably, even after practicing this method twice a day for just a week.

Another way meditation is helpful to many is through its ability to bring about sleep. There are nights when it’s hard to slow the chatter and whirring of thoughts. At bedtime, do you sometimes listen to classical music like Chopin or Bach?
I’ve noticed that meditating before bed (without music) makes me nod off extremely fast! My dreams are typically more pleasant and I wake up feeling so refreshed!

I’ve even noticed that less sleep feels like it’s enough when I meditate before bedtime.

I try to discipline myself and start off on a good note every morning, regardless of the circumstances. I remind myself that I’m more efficient with my time when I meditate so I never have an excuse!

Deep breathing is the path to a positive and productive mindset. With a little time invested twice a day, your demeanor will change drastically! You’ll also discover an ever-present happiness that will motivate you to do better in every way!

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

Sometimes, even with your best efforts and the utilization of all kinds of techniques (better daily habits, thinking more positively, etc), you still find yourself lacking something… a missing piece, some extra snippet of insight…
What could it possibly be?

Your confusion might develop something like this:
“I am positive, I am abundant, I am thankful and kind, and use Love in every interaction I can. But I still experience negativity, often a few times a day! And it only seems to worsen…”

It’s likely due to the quality of your social interactions.

Perhaps your social life and your everyday interactions with others are off-kilter? Or maybe they bring about extra negativity that you’re not getting rid of?

We’re inherently social. We need others. We need family and loved ones.
The people we interact with SHAPE us. We are emotionally-vested in these relationships and their patterns… The effects of every interaction show up in psychological and physiological ways.

The levels of hostility and aggression in any relationship can have an effect on the immune system – by way of the reactions the body has to external negativity. Pay attention to the way you react to the people and situations in your life! Reacting with hostility is more hurtful to you than to the receiver.

Nowadays we’re more distanced from each-other via electronics….
Many will find this image powerful, as it shows the growing tech phenomenon and its impact on family life:

It’s helpful to loosen that e-leash!!!!
Revel in the moment! Enjoy the nuances of your surroundings!
Allow yourself to relax wherever it is that you are, with no distractions — except maybe from your mind as you clear it with breaths of relaxation.

It’s impossible to appreciate THE MOMENT when you’re constantly multi-tasking! Believe it or not, in many situations this behavior doesn’t even prove to be productive! You listen less, you talk less, and you engage not at all.
Plus, when you do engage others it’s more likely to be on the aggressive side of the spectrum, because things were misconstrued or misunderstood. Maybe you repeated it too many times, or they thought you were arguing when in fact the opposite was true. It means a world of difference to take those few extra seconds and truly grasp what a person is saying.

So, just a few simple solutions to incorporate to help you Overcome these Hidden Stresses:
1) If breaking with technology daily for a few hours seems tough, start small with a daily ‘unplugged’ hour, unplugged after work for an increasing number of hours, and eventually to one tech-free day per week! It might take a while, but every loosening of the technology-leash is progress!!

2) Work on your responses and reactions being less aggressive, and More Understanding – inside and out.

3) Practice listening to listen, instead of listening just to respond.

4)

An added benefit is that when you have more to value in life (and higher quality values) you can reflect on these at ANY time and it’s been scientifically proven to lower stress levels and help with positive response.
As you improve your relationships to improve your calmness, your improved relationships lead to more calmness — even with things that are unrelated!

Have a wonderful day!
Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com