The mind is indispensable and usually ingenious, plus it’s always turning those gears…
But who is benefited by the current cycles?
Is the greater good of you and your life being assisted?
Are you perhaps easily discouraged, or often running out of steam?

At times, have you noticed yourself using the following Self-Defeating Phrases (SDP)?
7. I can do it later/tomorrow/next time.
8. I don’t feel like it (OR) One time isn’t a big deal.
9. I’m tired (OR) I deserve a break/reward.
10. It would be so great to just stop or quit…
11. The end-goal of (this) isn’t that important anyway…
12. I’m afraid of… (any part of the situation or potential for failure).

It’s OK to admit it; we all use these phrases now and then.
There’s nothing wrong with giving-in sometimes. The trouble is when that giving-in becomes the habit, and progress is halted indefinitely. Habits can only be changed if you stay focused and determined. You can rise above every excuse with a concrete decision to be strong-willed and straight-forward!!!!

With the right approach and some planning ahead, any obstacle you come across can be overcome. Every wrench in the plan can be easily re-purposed and used for good towards the final goal. Continue to recognize the areas where you need growth, and keep congratulating yourself as you move along (or at least acknowledge your progress)!
Don’t wait for this encouragement from the outside… You’re on an introspective journey and only you know the daily triumphs!

Here is how to overcome any of the SDP mentioned above:
7. Begin to incorporate a touch-it-once approach where you can. Perhaps create to-do lists where the Important and the Urgent are on different columns so you can better plan your productivity.
8. You’re right… one time (if it really is just once) is fine. The truth is, it rarely is just once. Push through wherever possible! By pushing through, you expand your comfort zones often and gain countless health benefits!
9. You can easily and quickly grow accustomed to [a new positive life change] and Enjoy your day-to-day even more! A proven approach is coupling your new habit (e.g. going to the gym) with a reward (e.g. reading a few more chapters in your book).
10. If you’re shining a light around and making waves in your world, it’s possible that you might encounter an opposite reaction. This is more proof that you’re on the right path… Don’t quit now! You already know Light is exponentially stronger.
11. The end-goal IS IMPORTANT. It’s the only intensely important thing there is. This is the sneakiest trick the mind plays, but it’s a weak maneuver. Hold fast to your resolve.
12. Base fear can be very similar to the effect of an adrenaline rush… its presence also means a threshold is about to be crossed, and all that’s left is the Courage to forge ahead. Face your fear now! It’s always milder than our over-active brain envisions! 🙂

So what’s next?
Begin anticipating these SDP (as they occur for you) and prepare your answer for each one.
If the situation calls for giving in, then do it with purpose and pay attention to the results!
Are you happier? Is your life better? Was it worth it?
Be honest with yourself.
If the answer to any of those questions was “No”, then remember that.

In this way, you will continue to Progress while Enjoying Life.
PLUS you get to reap the benefits of a mind that works FOR you (instead of against you)!

Keep encouraging yourself, and admiring the awesome qualities you’ve been displaying! You’ve got this.

Feel free to re-visit this entry or Part One anytime, for help responding to any self-defeating phrases that may arise!

Have an amazing day. 🙂

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

The mind can be a very tricky thing. Yes, it is indispensable and usually ingenious, and it’s always turning those gears…
But are you benefited by the current gear-turning?
Are the patterns and thought-processes you use assisting in the greater good of you and your life???
Do you often find yourself discouraged or running out of steam???

At times, have you noticed yourself using the following SDP (Self-Defeating Phrases)?
1. I can’t do it.
2. He/She/They can do it, but that has nothing to do with me.
3. I need my ____ [fill in the blank] ____ .
4. I’m justifying these actions, because life is meant to be enjoyed!!
5. I need _________ which will give me comfort.
6. I don’t have the faintest idea how to…

It’s OK to admit it; we all use these phrases now and then. However, the goal is to recognize their presence and maximize your response. Some excuses can be valid and I’m not saying to ignore them, but begin to be more conscious of your choices!
The mind, in its overly-analytical way, enjoys attempting to be a step or two ahead of the game. This means always trying to assess any upcoming situation, while maximizing pleasure and minimizing pain.
Not only that, often our mind can get it completely wrong, because it’s been too busy with its own analyses to be objective and observe reality!
And yes you have to look out for number one, but you should also respond to your world appropriately, instead of (sometimes) standing in your own way!

If you find yourself alone with a mirror, look deep into your own eyes and SMILE.
Say Thank You, and Admire Yourself for the excellent qualities that you’ve been displaying!!

Keep encouraging yourself.

If you must overcome one of the SDP mentioned above, here is how you deal with them:
1. YES you can do it. What you Conceive and Believe, you can Achieve.
2. The other people’s ability to do it does have to do with you! If they can accomplish this, so can you!
3. If _____ is not a Basic Survival need (food, water, shelter, clothes, cleanliness, rudimentary social upkeep) then You Really Can Go Without it AND Still Be Happy!
4. Life is definitely meant to be enjoyed! That includes staying healthy and maintaining respect for yourself!!
5. Allocate for the slip-ups you can’t go without, and commit to it only being the time-frame you choose: weekly, monthly, etc.
6. You can always learn how to do things, even if it means breaking down the problem and solving small pieces first. The puzzle will come together EVERY TIME.

The best way to progress is to begin anticipating these SDP (as they occur for you)! It’s also helpful to prepare your answer for each one in advance. Pay attention to the questions you ask yourself and the answers you give…
Keep up with the outcomes of situations where you decided to change (or not change) your response. Most of all, Be Honest with Yourself!

Come back Next Week to overcome your brain’s other six habitual phrases that sabotage daily life and your limitless potential!!!!
Part Two will be published on July 7th! 🙂

Feel free to re-visit this entry for help responding to any Self-Defeating phrases that may arise.

Have a spectacular day 🙂
Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

Learn effective tools that are simple and that you can use TODAY to ALLEVIATE STRESS and TRANSFORM IT POSITIVELY!

Maybe you’ve justified it to yourself.. maybe stress and discomfort seem like a fact of life… I mean, you might be thinking: how big of an influence can something like ‘stress’ have on me, anyway?

Did you know that in our country (the U.S.), the Number One killer (Stress) Is PROVEN To Contribute To……
+ Strokes
+ Ulcers
+ Asthma
+ Irritability
+ Rheumatism
+ Depression
+ Migraines
+ Insomnia
+ Diabetes
+ Fatigue
+ Allergies
+ Overeating
+ Sex Problems
+ Skin Diseases
+ Kidney Disorders
+ Breathing Problems
+ High Blood Pressure
+ Hardening of the Arteries
+ Increased Smoking (if already)…

Well, did you…?

Allowing negativity to build up indefinitely is what causes the above worst case scenarios! The goal is to avoid those and better Enjoy the Moment (and Life)!

So… maybe it’s time to write a letter?

Do yourself a favor and allocate just 2-5 minutes (whenever – and as often as – you can).
Find a quiet place, where you will not be disturbed.
Perhaps set an alarm (many cell phones offer relatively peaceful sounds to choose from), so you can allow your mind to relax and not worry about how many minutes it’s been.

Close your eyes (or let your eyes relax on a point in front of you)… Take a few deep breaths, and really allow your shoulders to drop… Let them drop even more.
Allow your jaws to sag a bit, relax the muscles of your face…
Now, just breathe deeper and deeper and deeper….

When you’re ready to come back (or your alarm rings) take an extra second to inhale deeply and just LET GO even more with your exhale…. With the next few inhales breathe in pure smiles, happy thoughts and positivity, and feel yourself uplifted from your core!

AND THAT’S THE DEFINITION OF RELATIVITY!

Now….
Imagine that you are holding a glass of water in your outstretched hand for one minute. Can you handle the weight? Most likely the answer will be Yes.
But what if you needed to hold it for 5 minutes? And how about for 10 minutes?
20 minutes?
Can you still keep your arm outstretched? Probably not. Why not? Does it seem much heavier to you?
You know the weight did not change. But you no longer are able to hold it….
Of course, the absolute weight doesn’t matter! It’s all about how long you hold it. The longer you hold it, the heavier it feels!

It’s the same way with stress. If we carry our burdens all the time, sooner or later, as the burden becomes increasingly heavy, we won’t be able to carry on. Just as with the glass of water, at times you have to put it down for a while and rest.

When we’re refreshed, we can carry on with the demands of life. We need time to Restore, Replenish, Reinvent, and Rejoice!!!! Allow yourself that time, even if only for a few minutes a day. You’ll start noticing the positive effects right away!! 🙂

Yours in Calmness,
– Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

Optimal Health and Wealth are both just within your reach, right here and right now!

A PROVEN PROGRAM TO INCREASE AWARENESS, PEACE, AND TRANQUILITY IN YOUR LIFE!
It’s my pleasure to introduce you to techniques that use deep-state body and mind relaxation and positive affirmations to enhance many aspects of your life. 🙂

Discomfort at some level is usually the first response we feel when something physically comes in contact with us, as it manifests itself within the receptors of our central nervous system with the brain as its primary messenger. It’s also the emotion we feel when we experience disappointment, misfortune, stress, and bad news in general. Theses various forms of pain have many root causes. For example, there are people (as well as places) that cause us discomfort. There are memories that seem inescapable, as well as bad habits and behaviors that haunt us year after year, serving as roadblocks to clear thinking and understanding. Often, it’s our way of thinking that serves as the barrier to success, for it is thinking — or should I say, the changing of that thinking — that can transform our lives.

With my transformative approach Reikinosis®, you can create the life you crave AND access gateways to your ultimate mind, body, and spirit! Armed with tools that guide your conscious, subconscious, and superconscious mind, you can easily change, transform, and evolve in the directions you seek.

Most of what holds us back lies between our ears. My workshops help eliminate the negative thinking that delays and defers the attainment of your dreams and aspirations! Some of the roadblocks we address in these programs affect abundance and wealth. You are shown how to overcome those obstacles and begin attaining your goals immediately. I also reveal the secrets behind how sometimes there’s a fine line between the tangible and intangible…

We must Think Wealth in order to Grow Wealth.
You can change your thought process about wealth, eventually breaking down the mental barriers that keep you from envisioning the life you deserve! Not having something, and specifically not having the opportunity to manifest one’s dreams, can be an excruciating thing most of us have felt at one point or another…
The Reikinosis® program provides relief for that via the Five Steps for Self-Manifestation, which I call “BALMS”! Balms, in their various forms, are known for bringing a soothing tranquility and sense of relief. The word balm rhymes with calm, the peaceful state of being that’s at the center of what we strive for (and discover) everyday at Calmness.com! <- That’s another rhyme, but an unintentional one. :) The Five Steps help change lives and unlock potential everyday, as our minds are our most powerful weapons (AKA helpers)! Combined with other tools offered through Calmness.com, you can easily reap the benefits of amplified receptiveness, self-confidence, self-esteem, self-love, and your overall sense of Yourself. You’ll gaze into the mirror of life and enjoy enhanced evaluation of people, places and situations as they relate to your needed change… Eventually you’ll fully let go of habits that have been stunting your evolution all along!

With newly broken bonds and an elevated sense of Freedom, you will begin manifesting your desires with renewed clarity, and you’ll see the light at the end of the tunnel! You will emerge transformed, with a new way of thinking – and you’ll also be confident in your application of new and essential tools that will support your progress and help you reach endless goals…!

Intrigued? Click Calmness.com/change to see Upcoming Workshops in your area!

I hope you have a wonderful day 🙂

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

There is a certain mystery and enduring fascination with wealth. While we often think of the materialistic aspect of wealth, there is another side that is essential to its creation and its maintenance. We desire it, we crave it, but how do we attain it?

An old proverb states: “It’s all in the mind”. Some also assert that we only use a small percentage of our brain capacity. Are those areas of the brain that go ‘unused’ wired deeper into our subconscious than the areas we use the most? Does our Wealth Mindset reside in those untapped areas?

People view wealth in a number of different ways. Many of us are intimidated by the mention of the term, and some of us are affected by some deep rooted mentality (“negative wealth programming”) that blocks us from acquiring what we so richly deserve! Society tells us what to do, but never how to do it. We become victims of our own unhealthy thinking, trapped in our limited beliefs.
These thoughts shape daily life, effecting your sense of peace and tranquility. If left unchecked, they can also eventually take a toll on your physical, spiritual, and mental health.

In order to confront these fears and break down these walls, we must tap into our inner spirit: our subconscious selves.

We all have a Wealth Mindset, and truth be told, we ALL deserve to have wealth. Many of us are accidentally (and sometimes deliberately) holding ourselves back, causing pain and disturbances in our inner peace that go way beyond the lack of wealth.

Fortunately, with my seminars’ assistance, you can unlock your subconsciousness, release the hooks and chains that are holding you in poverty, and permanently move beyond those limits!!!! There is joy, fun, and pleasure in Wealth Acquisition. Gain the tools to improve your sense of calmness, clarity, and confidence NOW!
I have dates in both Connecticut and NYC!
Visit Calmness.com/Change and Reserve your spot Today!

YOU DESERVE TO BE WEALTHY!!!

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

Many wise individuals have observed that prevention is the best way to stay healthy… Logic agrees that it’s beneficial to be proactive instead of reactive. Everyone needs food to survive, but the quality of what we eat is often more important than the amount.

So many have gotten into the habit of rushing through meals… it probably started from early years in school and at work whenever food was squeezed in between other tasks. Someone once shared with me that his long-term routine (army life) taught him food was only a seven-minute luxury at a time – clean-up included!
But that’s not how it should be! As one of the four imperatives to staying alive (along with water, oxygen and sleep), food must climb higher on the priority list!

As soon as you read this you’ll already have a few extra tools and a bit more awareness too, to help better nourish your body. I hope today’s tidbit of commonly available informational goodness brings you heightened health. 🙂

To eat without rushing… that really is a big one.
And as fun as it is to read (or watch TV) while eating, these habits are making it easier for you to be deaf to your body! Your health will Flourish when you both correctly portion each meal, and consistently know the precise moment that you are satiated.
You can only do this if you actually pay attention, and allow yourself to Just Eat whenever it’s time for a meal.
Perhaps you might even want to introduce probiotics… I suggest researching it first, of course, to find the right balance and dosage for you. I’ve noticed many wonderful benefits since adding them to my regimen.

Lastly, a diet with a lower glycemic index is scientifically proven to be healthier! Not only did a new study come out, but we’ve known for years that the compounds in refined sugars and breads become addictive. The bacteria in your gut begins craving them and your conscious efforts alone sometimes aren’t enough to fight such nagging desires.

Work on cutting out (or at least reducing and slowly replacing) sweets with fruits and more natural derivatives (honey, maple syrup, maple sugar…) .
In this way you begin lessening the overall junk in your diet: day by day, meal by meal.
It’s a process, I admit, but you will immediately notice your stronger feelings of well-being, and how much more control you have over your moods.

Start small if you like. BUT START NOW!
The easiest beginnings might perhaps be adding less sugar to each cup of tea/coffee, or beginning to truly read labels and assess content, and becoming more informed and avoiding known junk (high fructose corn syrup, all the artificial colors, etc.).

As you progress you will find it affecting and effecting moods throughout your day for the better!
You can start now, incorporating these suggestions… You will find that you naturally gain relaxation (and perhaps even somewhat subconsciously – instead of always by your constant efforts).
Plus you will tackle aggravation effortlessly when you are even-keel!

All habits take time to heal and change… Take small steps today and find your health improving tremendously, just in time for summer & to show off your hard work!

I look forward to hearing of your imminent and forthcoming success!

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

Last week I began my month-long Spring adventure in the Middle East and on Friday I landed in Israel. Before I left for the trip I had inquired as to the weather and I was told that it was hot, sunny and basically summer… So, of course, I packed all summer clothes and only one jacket.

Israel welcomed me with dark, heavy clouds.
That evening, when I went for a two-mile walk, I was reassured that even if the rain did start it would only drizzle lightly. When I was at my walk’s most distant point, the heavens indeed opened up and it rained so hard that it was impossible for me to see ahead more than a few inches at a time! I needed to run back to the house trusting I would make it safely, without the luxury of seeing where I was stepping or if there was a car approaching when I crossed every street. And Israeli drivers are really reckless sometimes!
Needless to say, I was completely soaked when I got back. My body shivered all night on the cold, hard bed in this super cold house with open windows, and no heat.
I reflected on how pampered I am back in the USA… living in a heated house, sleeping on a heated bed that’s always soft and comfortable… using accurate and to-the-minute weather predictions to ensure I’m prepared…
But back to the present moment. The heavy rains and chilly temperatures continued all through the weekend! And this isn’t even a rant about meteorologists.

I’m so thankful to be here and to able to recount my rainy excitement with you…!
As I penned it, I realized it’s one of those times I’ve intimately experienced the Serenity Prayer.
I’ve been working on accepting these things that I cannot change and yes, of course, it’s easier said than done, but that’s the beautiful challenge of it.
I’m brimming with gratitude and peace and could not help but share this reminder: the proficiency for Serenity and Wisdom is a process. You’re doing the best you can!
Remain loving and patient with yourself as you continue developing and fulfilling all that you seek!

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

As I mentioned in Part One, occupational stress can be harmful to our psyche and our health. Even though we usually spend less time at work than at home, stress from work spills over into our personal lives.

Work stress can lead to sleeplessness, irritability with family and friends, increased usage of inebriants, as well as eroding away at feelings of self-worth. Before women entered the workforce, statistics showed that women outlived men because work-related stress led men to an early grave – usually by way of heart attacks and strokes.
But Be Of Good Cheer!
There are so many ways to gradually lessen the load!

Here are some more tips for maintaining a calm disposition at work.

— Learn to say “No,” and don’t over-commit. This is an especially challenging area, because sometimes it’s hard saying “NO” to taking on additional work that’s presented. Learn how to tactfully explain that other assignments are priorities, and you’re not able to take on additional work at the time. In the long run, it’s worth more to be honest and productive than to put too much on your plate and then deliver sub-par results.

— Take time outs for deep breaths and to stretch. Many of us work on computers or similar devices a lot of the time. It’s important to force yourself to take a break from computer work and do something else, such as filing and organizing. This helps prevent your eyes and wrists from becoming strained.

— Leave ten to fifteen minutes earlier for work. It is very stressful to have to race to work and hope that you make it on time. When you rush to your job, tension is magnified because you miss out on a peaceful transition from restfulness to work-fulness. When you arrive early, you have time to properly set up and get ready for the tasks at hand.

These tips are simple to incorporate, but they show we truly can alleviate work-related stress bit by bit. Also, they show it’s within our grasp to find more joy in every waking moment! When it comes down to it, isn’t one of life’s ultimate goals to be productive and happy at the same time?

I hope you really do find all of your days becoming better and better, whether you’re at work or not!

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

Occupational stress can be harmful to our psyche as well as our health. Even though less time is usually spent at work than at home, stress emanating from the workplace can spill-over into our personal life.

Having a secure job is important; however, it’s not worth sacrificing your health and quality of life to keep it.
Here are some tips for maintaining a calm disposition at work:

— Schedule time for relaxation, exercise, and fun activities. There was a period of time in which I was working twelve hour days. After getting off work late in the evening, I would be so exhausted that I would head home and fall asleep right away. As a result, I became cranky and burnt out. So I purchased a gym membership that was close to my job and started exercising once I finished the workday.

— Also, during my breaks I make a point of going outside and walking. There are so many benefits to taking walks in fresh air. I’ve found that taking this time for myself has really paid off.

— Break projects into smaller steps and learn how to delegate. It might be hard to do this, because often we live by the motto: “If you want something done right, you have to do it yourself.” This can cause a lot of anxiety. Break a large task into smaller tasks, and delegate work that could be done by another staff member. This greatly reduces stress-levels as well as helping the employee(s) build confidence knowing they’re trusted to carry out the assignments.

Start to incorporate these into your workday and begin to alleviate some of that workplace anxiety. If you ever find that the stress is too much, look for a different job that’s less stressful. I know this is difficult, but no amount of salary is worth putting yourself in jeopardy. Really!

After realizing the stress cycle they were putting themselves through, some of my students decided to quit the jobs that provided comfortable salaries because their bosses kept adding more departments for them to oversee. They said that it got to the point where they felt like hamsters in a wheel. You may want to consider this as well. Perhaps your new job won’t pay as well, but if the stress level is significantly lower that’s payment in itself! All of my students that made this transition are still glad they did.

Have a wonderful day! I hope you find all of your days becoming better and better, whether you’re at work or not!

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com

Become an explorer, an adventurer and outdoors-person while shaking up the routine that takes up forty percent or more of your day!
This is just a gentle reminder about immersing yourself in the opportunities that exist for rejuvenation…

Studies have revealed that experiences help our development more in the long run and also give us way more lasting pleasure than material things. Regularly scheduled time outside in nature is vital for our well-being!

Sometimes, I think those of us living in densely populated areas forget how amazing nature is… How pure, giving, selfless, peaceful, and full of tranquility.
Even if we already live close to it (or right at its edge), sometimes we can still go a very long time without engaging a natural landscape…

The Great Outdoors is glad to just be, endlessly (and nearly effortlessly) awaiting our visit. The calmness and peace Nature bestows upon its onlookers is only a byproduct and side-note. Of course, it exists for its own continued life-extension. But we’re nature too… It’s extremely healthy for us to be in our element, literally!

When we free ourselves from our human-made buildings and cities, and allow ourselves the freedom of “just being one with nature” (even for a short time), the benefits are indescribable!

Do Yourself a favor… Carve out some time weekly.
At the very least, once a month!

You needn’t travel far (unless you so desire)…
Just get away from the traffic noise, away from the congestion, and away from the people every-which-way.
Visit a waterfall, go hiking up a mountain, lounge by a stream, dip your feet in an ocean or lake, go bush-whacking, perhaps even curl up under a tree. Be adventurous and Let go! Be daring! Allow yourself to be silly. 🙂
For the moment, though, just close your eyes… and imagine…
Imagine yourself in beautiful and natural surroundings… and allow the calmness and tranquility to permeate your being.

Then start to plan your next trek! It can be as close as your own backyard…
Have fun and stay safe. 🙂

Yours in Calmness,
Dr. Inessa
Calmness.com