It happens frequently that people accidentally suffer from selective hearing. And, most often, the case is that these partially-heard people are close to the selective-hearer. This means that often times this is someone’s spouse/family member/significant other/long-term friend.
And over an extended period of time, the communication lines become garbled to the point where people are rarely actually listening to each other… They only hear fragments of what the other is communicating and they react to that. Then their reaction’s tone is way off from the tonality that the other person used to talk to them in the first place. And this causes a constant back-and-forth issue where there is discord and disconnect in many other areas of life.

Have you ever witnessed something like this in your life, or in the lives of those around you????
If someone were to ask me that question, the answer would be a resounding yes.

It seems that many succumb to the parital-listening method…. Sadly, usually they have the best of intentions and feel very strongly about the person to whom they’re doing a disservice. Some people might even lash out in various ways when they feel they’re being communicated with in a different tone than is appropriate. Of course, when you’re only partially listening you also only pick up part of the emotions attached, so often-times the tone that is communicated is, in fact, appropriate and the information is, in fact, spot-on.
Ok, so by now you realize this is pretty common nowadays. Maybe it’s due to technology, or maybe it’s due to a notion that the years have entertained an endless-loop of not-pleasant encounters.

So what do you do?
How do you get out of this negative loop and help others get out too???

FIRST, realize that men and women deal with negative emotions differently. Recent studies have shown that they react to other people’s negative emotions in a completely opposite manner. What research has shown is that when someone approaches a man with a negative message, the man will mirror what they perceive to be a bad mood. However, when someone approaches a woman in the same manner, the woman will try to counteract that message with something positive. These interesting finds might be the equivalent to a built-in communication deficiency for some…

SECOND, let go of previous battles. The best way to live in harmony with yourself (and those around you) is to not collect resentments and grudges. Allow those shackles to fall off, and break away. Strip down the emotional barriers you’ve built and bare your heart – even if just for fifteen minutes…
Sometimes we tune out more than just perceived negativity. Sometimes it helps to lower your voice, create a more pleasant tone to speak in, stop interrupting, and respond to the actual questions being asked. Also, when someone is trying to answer the questions about emotions, don’t call anything a ‘tangent’. Just because something and how it links up or connects aren’t making immediate sense to the logical mind, doesn’t mean they’re invalid.

THIRD, allow the other people to finish out their thoughts. It’s ok to ask someone to not repeat things, or keep their answers to a few paragraphs (at the most) in length. However, when someone gets respect, attention, and silence when they’re speaking it tends to keep them in an even-keel enough mood to remain friendly. A discussion can be so much quicker and much more productive if people just let the other person talk the first time around, hearing the summary of the situation and how someone perceived it, and then calmly responding with the same.

FOURTH, a discussion can usually be laughed off as soon as the ridiculousness of the original argument is discovered and acknowledged. Don’t get too serious and rigid… stay easily amused! Laugh at yourself, giggle with others, and develop your sense of humor. Smiling and laughing send endorphins to the brain and keep us young!

Take your time and take a deep breath. Close your eyes and slow your roll… allow calmness to envelop you. The timing that matters most is the here and now; the people and situations physically around us. A little respect for someone else’s time and attention goes a really long way!

Thanks for reading!

I’m a Wellness Scientist and healer with over 15 years’ experience.
For over 6 years I’ve been experimenting and healing in a zone where science and metaphysics collide! The unique (and cutting-edge) healing solutions I’ve developed blend proven techniques with a strong scientific influence.

Stay In Touch with me via FB for special deals, AND doses of inspirational positivity ~ facebook.com/coastallilacs.

Yours in Calmness,
Reverend Michelle
RevMichelle.com